We stayed for a week at the Chelsea Harbour Hotel and Spa in London and our stay was more like a Monty Python skit than a five star retreat. Let me start with the good aspects. The suites are two rooms and very nicely sized. The bathtubs are glorious and the showers are very nice. The lobby and bar area are very spacious. I had a fabulous experience with one dining room person, Emi. She brought me tea in the bar early one morning and then surprised me with a croissant. Lovely and first class attention to a guest.
Now for the rest of the story. The issue started with our arrival. It was early in the day and the reception desk person gave us the good news that she had a room for us. When we got to the room, the door was open and there was a painter, repainting the hall. We were so tired after an all night flight, we ignored the small of paint, the slightly dusty room and crawled into bed. When I mentioned this to the front desk person, she said she didn't know the room was being serviced. This was the first clue that poor service and lousy communications were going to be central to our visit.
On the first morning, we got to the buffet breakfast about 15 minutes before they stopped service. We got asked to pay our bill before we got served our tea and coffee. We had to ask several times for any beverage service at all. The buffet was okay but on the pricey side.
That evening, we asked the concierge to book us a cab for a rather long ride and we needed to leave at specific time, hence booking the cab the night before. When we came down that morning, there was no cab. Finally, we hailed one on the street. So much for help with transportation. The concierge also had no maps of the area; they had run out. We figured out where the Tube was and how the Uber boat worked all on our own. It would have been great for a one-page map that showed us where the public transportation was located and when they ran. The hotel is a bit far from everything touristy but accessible by public transport if you can figure it out. Why should guests have to figure it out themselves?
If you haven't heard enough, here's the coup de grace. We asked the front desk to have the bed made up in our living room for our daughter. We knew we would be back very late that night and she was joining us for the rest of the week. A staff person made up the bed, and brought us tea and missing wash clothes ( and a huge piles of towels). He was coming right back with a duvet to finish the bed. When we got home at 2 a.m., the bed was just a bottom sheet. We tried to call the front desk, no one answered (which was a continuing problem). We went down to get a blanket or duvet. The front desk person said he would have one brought to us. Twenty minutes later, we went back downstairs. He was still working on it. Then he showed up with a sheet. When we explained we needed a blanket, a duvet, he seemed very confused. Another 20 minutes later, he finally brought a duvet. We all went to bed. Another 20 minutes later, the door bell rang. The front desk person was at the door and asked what we needed. For the fourth time we explained we needed a blanket. As I explained again, his colleague pushed a rollaway bed into the doorway. Now they had brought an entire bed. We just needed a blanket.
As a final note, at 8 a.m. the next morning our phone rang, it was a person wanting to book a room. Somehow an external call has been sent to us. We suggested they should really think again about booking a room. We won't be back to visit the Chelsea Harbour Hotel.